Build that wall

She could sense his lips across the table, slightly parted through concentration and her fingers itched to meet his skin. She was confident all the way up until those few words a moment ago. They’d felt like a kick to the stomach leaving her bleeding internally. It was like she was drunk. Her lips disengaged from her clever mind which come to think of it didn’t feel so clever today at all. She tried to reason with her nerves, which snaked like veins, grew thick with poison. They crawled and crept, they flickered over and down her eyelids, they anchored into her stomach, built roots on her intestines. They took advantage of her open heart, her tongue hostage and held her thoughts ransom. She wished she could pull them out of her insides like giant noodles. The realization that they were part of her, indeed born of her made her scoff. No foreign planted seedling. No cruel persons spell. Just her heart and souls black toffee, their soot and grime left over from their busy working selves. So she leaned back over her notepad. Thought she could disguise her ways, that if she poured it out through ink on paper, he’d understand, move his chair a little closer and put his arms around her instead.